Friday, July 03, 2009

When Someone You Love is Leaving

A person, very dear, is on his final journey.

All his family is gathered round. He is resting in his own home, where he raised his five children, with his loving wife and best friend. Fifty-seven years of love; five children, eight grandchildren. Every one of the children and grandchildren, individually, have their own, deep relationship with him. Although he has come full circle, a life well-lived and nothing left undone, it is not easy to say goodbye.

He has passed very quickly from what appeared to be good health, to being near death. He has had time to give his final thoughts to those closest to him. He has had meaningful conversation with his priest. He knows his family is gathered near. Now he is peacefully passing from this world to the next.

It is an anxious time for families who stand, in good health, beside their declining loved one, while that person changes from someone to they talk with, to someone they talk about. When a loved one is hovering seemingly between two worlds, it is somewhat reassuring when they do not appear distressed.

It can be a tense time for people, waiting, as their own relationships can be strengthened, or tested. At a time like this we truly walk in faith, and remember the things that the loved one has taught us. Now is the time for the next generation take its place at the head of the line.

What a time it must be, though, not for the children so much as the spouse, the one who is watching their beloved, go. It is their life that changes so much, going forward, and often at a time when they themselves are most vulnerable to the effects of physical aging, loneliness, and perhaps, some fear about what will become of them, too?

You can only believe, if you do, as I do, that God is merciful and will be faithful to the most vulnerable among us.


Monday, June 29, 2009

Sunset Tide







Following early evening summer showers, the twilight coaxed me from a messy kitchen and air conditioning. I grabbed the Canon Rebel and two of the kids and we walked over to the beach.




Light changes so quickly after the sun sets. The afterglow from the sunset cast a pastel hue over the incoming tide. The air was misty from rain.





My house is a mere 1,300 feet from this beach. This is my tenth summer on this beach and my heart still does a flip-di-dip when I come across the boardwalk and it comes into full view.


Although we had to leave precious family behind when we relocated, I knew from the first that if we were coming to Jacksonville, we would live here.

No planned, gated communities for me but an organic one. One with a past, and a soul. A place where neighbors can leave their popsicle-colored beach cruisers propped against a tree while they scamper out onto the sand.




Or a place where you can take that bike for a spin on the sand, if that's what you prefer.


A place where the public beach access is clearly marked at every block. Some with parking. Others with rinsing showers.



How I ended up here is a stroke of luck, or maybe, God's way of showing me that my dreams did come true - one by one by one.

In Atlantic Beach's gift shops you'll often find signs that people buy for their homes: "If You're Lucky Enough to Live at the Beach, You're Lucky Enough." And although such a sign doesn't suit my own personal style, I do take that motto to heart.





Sunday, June 28, 2009

Skype: Where Have You Been All My Life?



I finally downloaded Skype, video version, and visited with the family in Michigan.  No doubt it's the coolest, most awesome application on the MacBook Pro with one tiny drawback:  now I've got to do hair and makeup just for a telephone call.

But that's just me.  Let it be known henceforth that my hair and makeup sensitivities are mine alone and in no way extend to the sistahood.  It's just the way that I am.  And you know, it's even just for me as the MacBook's killer videocam is so sharp that I really don't care to see my face in the raw.  I've got a drawer full of MAC (that's cosmetics, not 
Apple, though I'm an Apple lover too) and I won't Skype without it.

I saw a roomful of inlaws I hadn't seen in two years via the miracle of the MacBook Pro and Skype.  I saw my sweet father-in-law in his hospital bed, the reason for the gathering of his children and grandchildren  in Michigan.  And they all were able to see my three kids, the real thrill for those on the other end, who don't care a whit whether Jeannie's wearing mascara or lipgloss.    They panned the hospital room, as my kids saw aunts, uncles, cousins, and their beloved grandparents; one supine, in his hospital bed, the other, standing next to him.  This couple, so close in marriage for 57 years, are on the precipice of a very big change.

I love this family, and I love the technology that enables those of us separated by geographical divides to come together in real time, to be virtually in the same room, and able to say, "hello," and "I love you," while looking into each other's faces. 

For Kristin, in Michigan

To Kristin, a lovely, on her graduation:

You grew from a girl to a woman
while we were away.

We were not with you on your special day.

We've missed many birthdays and holidays, too.
But that does not mean we've forgotten about you.

I still remember the girl that you were
when you came into the family, but the rest was a blur.

You grew up in pictures and now you are grown,
You're smart and you're lovely and your future's your own.

No matter what happens, or wherever you go,
You've got a Florida family who loves you, you know.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Ichetucknee Springs



 

Tubing on the Ichetucknee River.  A fun day or overnight trip that’s close to home for beachlifers, and something anyone who calls herself a Floridian needs to do at least once in her life.  Me, I’ve done it three times now, so I consider myself a pro. 

 I’m not the camping sort of girl, so this little trip is enough of an outdoorsy excursion that gives me a taste of the deep woods, crystal clear water and, if your fellow tubers are in it for the visceral experience, it can be a peaceful and relaxing way to pass a few hours.  A rowdier bunch could change all that but I’ve found that being there in mid-week is probably your best bet in avoiding the louder tubers and all their yuks.  Sure, I know they’re just having a good time, but since I don't get to enjoy a pristine river deep in the woods very often, I  prefer when it’s quiet; when most of the others on the river are just happy campers both literally, or figuratively.  Like, people who smile without yelping as they float pass.  People who want to just soak in the experience of draping one’s self over an inner tube and letting the slow current carry them while they gaze at the flora and fauna both beneath the water and lining the river banks.

When it comes to renting tubes, just pick from any of the rental places that dot the approach to the park.  Every one I’ve rented from has always retrieved their tubes from the park, where you leave them when you're done.  They tie the tubes or rafts to the top of your car.  And if you’re like me and you don’t like to walk barefoot in the woods, you’ll want to hang on to a good-sized length of that twine so you can tie your flip flops to the handle of your tube during your float.   The shuttle will take you from the park’s main area out to the river launch site…but I’m not a barefoot girl; I prefer to wear shoes or flip-flops on the trudge through the woods to the river's edge. Yes, I know, plenty of people have no problem going barefoot but it’s just not for me.  Those  “water shoes” would work, I suppose; you could wear them through the woods and into the water, but really, they look so geeky that I couldn’t bring myself to wear them.  Besides,  I don’t wear flats, anyway. I prefer my own flip-flops, (which I do want to kick off once I'm in the water) so lesson learned:  keep the twine!   You can also use it to tie your waterproof camera to the other handle, because as someone who takes pictures of just about everything, you’re going to want to photograph the beauty of the river.  The conflict therein, though, is that you’re working with the limitations of a disposable camera (well, I was, anyway, as I cannot afford a waterproof enclosure for the D-SLR) and truthfully, I think, I had to make a choice:  was I going to photograph the experience, or just enjoy it?   In the end I decided to just enjoy it, which was a great relief because I'm one of those who feels compelled to photograph everything.  In my situation, the camera was nothing but a hassle but with the proper planning (and a second length of twine) you can have your flip-flops and camera too.


 A word about tubes.  When you’re out at Buffalo Joe’s (or wherever) choosing your tube, may I suggest you strongly consider the “two-man” tube as a viable option if you’ve got elementary-aged kids.   It’s probably true that these kids will want "my own tube" but you have to remember that once they actually get to the river and there’s no turning back, at least half of them will be a little freaked out by the idea of floating alone and will be grasping at yours for security anyway, so you may as well get the double tube just to see how they like the river if it’s their first time. We’d always gotten a raft in the past which meant they stayed dry, but part of the fun, I think, is to get as close to the water, if not in it, as you can.  One could actually snorkel their way down the river if one wanted to.    

 Once you arrive at the park and get yourselves ready – bathing suits and sunscreen and everyone uses the bathroom, now you have to decide what to do about your car keys because the park’s lockers are broken.  You see the Sharpie-scrawled sign at the concession stand offering to HOLD CARS KEYS FOR $1.   You wonder: should you really hand over your keys to a guy behind the concession counter at a remote state park?  You debate this with yourself for a while.   You know you can’t risk losing the keys in the river or getting the electronic keys wet.  You also know that you cannot risk losing your credit cards, cash, camera equipment whatever else is jammed into your car, not to mention the car itself.  You doubt the car would actually be stolen, rather, you worry that given a two-hour window of opportunity, a concession guy would have plenty of time to paw through your things.  But you seem to remember that you did this the last time - - and finally you decide to do it again, take the risk, what the hell.  You can’t help but tell that guy to keep outta your car at which point he laughs at you, having heard it all before.  When you return later to retrieve your keys he laughs again, tells you the car handled really well and that he thinks he parked it in the same spot you had it in and ha, ha, ha.  You are reassured to see everything as it was and no strange charges have posted to your credit card account…yet.

So finally: the river. You’re taken by shuttle to the drop off point deep in the woods.  You walk down that dirt path, carrying your tubes, to the river’s edge. Here you launch and away people float, some in clusters of two or three tubes, some in pairs, a few, alone.  It’s a quiet day on the river.   There is the usual uneasiness about getting into unfamiliar waters but we’ve done it before and everyone there was all smiles.  As you float along you realize your middle child, who happily chose her own tube back at Buffalo Joe’s, is now in fact clutching the handle of your tube, and won’t let go.  Suddenly she’s not so sure she wants to be in her own tube, not so sure she even wants her feet to touch the water, which is not such a good thing considering you’ve just begun and there’s a ninety minute float ahead of you.  Otherwise level headed middle school girls have been known to become a little high strung out there on the river, freaked out by the lovely, undulating ribbon-like plants that will sometimes tickle your feet as you pass overtop them. Or by the fish they see as clearly as if they were gazing into a well-maintained aquarium.  The water is clear and the bottom isn’t mucky (not that you’d ever have to touch the bottom) but you’re certainly out in the middle of the woods, with mangroves growing on the riverbank, and turtles sunning themselves on exposed fallen trees…it’s a different environment altogether for a girl who’s growing up in a beach town and doesn’t have parents who like camping and therefore has had minimal exposure to venues like rivers to tube upon.   Whatever it was, this girl was not going to let go of my tube, nor would she be convinced to dangle her legs in the water which was a great change of pace from riding with your backside over the opening. 

And so for those next ninety minutes, you enjoy the heck out of the experience, your middle girl is latched on to your double tube and is enjoying herself, tentatively, and the three of you float on down the Ichetucknee River.  Your son’s ahead of you all, floating peacefully and enjoying the time to himself.   Note to self, you think, bring more of the twine next time, so any anxious tuber can rope herself to someone else’s tube if necessary.

(Following photos are all of the headsprings)

 

Our favorite park of the Ichetucknee day is swimming in the headspring of the Ichetucknee River after tubing. This cold, clear swimming hole was such a lovely shade of green/blue and perfect for snorkeling.  The water in the headspring is cold, but you tell them all to take the plunge, and if you keep moving your body acclimates quickly (becomes numb!). It's totally refreshing on a 96 degree Florida afternoon.  



 The middle child had no problem swimming like a little dolphin here. You watch through your mask as this person who only an hour earlier was so skittish about her feet touching the water is now diving clear to the bottom of the spring and touching it (with her bare hands).   You are glad that your kids love to swim and snorkel and you all drove home at the end of the day in the dark – hoping you can get another visit to the Springs in before the summer ends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 


Monday, June 22, 2009

DVD Marathon This Week: Need Ideas!

Our neighborhood Blockbuster is running a week long promotion.  You fork over $15 and can rent unlimited DVDs, two checked out at a time, for one week.  

This, then, is the perfect opportunity to settle in for a movie marathon.  Or, better yet, to watch a good television series start to finish, one after the next.  Have you ever done that?  Just sat down and started watching from the very beginning and didn't stop til it was over?

I watched The Wire in a marathon session last summer. Having never seen a single episode of the "highly acclaimed HBO drama", I started with Season One, Episode One and was hooked.  I had to join Netflix to ensure that I could get the discs in consecutive order and in a timely fashion.  I was steeped in that program and deeply affected by it.  55 television hours later,  it was over and I mourned its finale.  I missed those characters for a good few weeks afterwards.  The episodes were so compelling, the acting so good.  Quality televsion drama is so hard to come by but this was good TV.  Well, actually, it's not TV, it's HBO.  (It's TV, but anyway...)

I'm yearning for another viewing experience like that one.

Any suggestions for must-see films, or television episodes I should watch during my 'free for all' week which started today?  I'm watching Weeds Season Four to start with.  I'll probably finish that tomorrow.

I just need to make sure I still have time to do some work, and read Infinite Jest.

So:  I'd love some ideas!  The Blockbuster girl recommended the series Dexter and another one, House.

I'm not interested in Lost or 24 or Heroes or True Blood.  Sopranos I've done and loved it but I've already watched those episodes all more than once.  Same with Sex and The City.

Maybe I should stick with films.

Or, I should just let the kids rent the movies and I'll lay on the couch and read and read...


Sunday, June 21, 2009

Now For My Shallow Side...

What a hilarious group of grown up women masquerading as middle-schoolers.

Goils, I'm gonna miss you and your bubbies, too.

You're unbelievable. 

Seriously.  Are you proud of yourselves?  

Well, I know you don't care; you like being on TV and it makes passing my time while folding laundry and sweeping the kitchen floor quite entertaining.  But what's the most fun of all is reading the episode recaps posted online by various sources.

Truly hilarious reading!

See ya next time Joisey goils.




Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Rock


We found this rock in the low tide this evening.  

It makes you wonder about the story behind it.

I'm guessing that someone wrote all their negative feelings and attributes onto the rock.  To symbolically dissociate themselves from the negativity they hurled the rock into the ocean.  Not a bad exercise if you think about it.

I wonder if it worked.